Recently a fellow clergyperson was doing a survey to find out about generational divides within the church. Of course, over the years the common and even cliche divide was over musical styles (hymns/contemporary). I remembered hearing about this from the time I entered the church as a teen. Yet, I think the divides over the years have led us to a dangerous place for the coming generations.
When I reflected on my own journey and experiences this is what I shared with him. I am 44 years old (79′) so I am on the edge of Gen X and Millenials…sometimes referred to as the micro generation Xennials. I am also an ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church and have served in paid ministry positions for over 20 years. I have served in churches with around 30 in in-person worship and others with 600 and everything in between. I know others will have many different experiences based on the size of the churches they serve, the denomination in which they serve, and their location.
In my younger years what I witnessed was there was little interest in letting younger Gen X/millenial adults actually lead. Too often what was offered was “Let me train you how to do what we have always done, and then you have to do it exactly the way we want”. There was little reflection on “Does this still work?” “Is this still helping us achieve our goals as the church?” It mostly revolved around the personal preferences of those who had been leading, those who had been there the longest at the church, or those who “barked” the loudest.
When Gen X/Millenials tried to speak up and share what was most impactful or meaningful for their age group they were often disregarded, insulted, or taken out of positions of influence. After being in the ministry for almost half of my life I have seen many people I grew up with walk away from the church as laity and as clergy/staff members. Too often they realized they were never going to be able to actually make any lasting change in the churches they were a part of so they found other places where they could find community, they could serve, and they could make a difference around them.
I would agree that younger leaders have to be willing to be teachable and humble, but I would also add the same should be true of older leaders. As a middle-aged adult (44) with an older adopted child who is an adult now, and two younger children at home (10 and 6) people my age and in similar circumstances are not interested in fighting long battles over music preferences or making sure that the 73rd annual pancake breakfast happens. We want to invest our time and talents where they are wanted and respected and not used as a warm body to keep old programs and events running.
The hard part of this now is that many aging congregations are realizing they can no longer do what they once did. You have those who are in their mid 70’s and older who just don’t have the physical energy to give anymore. You then have those who are 60-75 who often are traveling, visiting with family, and enjoying retirement so they have stepped away from more roles (especially after Covid). So, where does that leave those churches? The reality is there are not a lot of people in their 30’s, 40’s, or even early 50’s involved in most average-sized churches. When I looked at Pew Research it said in the UMC that 63% of united methodists are Boomers, Silent Generation, and Greatest Generation. If you add in Generation X (ages 43-58) then 87% of people in the UMC are 43 years old and above. I would also bet those Gen X numbers are higher for the older Gen X members as I rarely see people in churches around my wife and I’s age. Older Millenials (which I am on the cusp of) only account for 8% and Younger Millenials only account for 6%. Here comes a fastball…those in their 20s, 30s, and early-mid 40s are not interested in propping up institutions or churches that have turned into religious country clubs as they provide programs and events to their constituents. I think we will see less generational divide in the church going forward because many of the younger churches have walked out the door and are not coming back.
Does this mean that churches should just forget about younger Gen X, Millenials, or Generation Alpha? No, not at all. Yet, If we as the Church want to reach those who are not a part of the church or who have left the church it will require a heart for our neighbors and lives lived for God. We cannot innovate our way out of this mess!
Another hard reality is that for most churches even if they could recreate what they did in the 80s, 90s, or early 2000’s they no longer have the people, the energy, or the time to make this happen, however, it often doesn’t stop them from trying. While some churches took this time during Covid to reevaluate what they were doing and why, a lot of churches spent this time pining to return to “normal” even if what was normal hadn’t worked in a really long time. What a lot of churches have been realizing though is that even returning to that Pre-Covid “normal” is not possible.
Whether Churches have reevaluated or not, people have reevaluated their lives. People have reflected on what they believed, why they believe it, and what they are giving their time and energy to. Even people who were highly involved in serving at their churches through worship, ministries, Bible studies, etc… have reduced their availability. I want to make clear that I do not think this is a bad thing at all. The Church in America has needed to do a hard reset to use a technological image for a long time. Unfortunately, many churches are refusing to do so even if the people themselves are doing one.
How has this impacted the average church? When the “returning to normal” has proved unsuccessful it has led to various responses and feelings. Some have gotten depressed or sad, others have become fearful or anxious, and some have even become bitter toward those who left, those who are still there, or those in leadership positions. I know a lot of this post has been like trying to swallow a jagged pill with no water, so I want to close with some encouragement.
While some churches have become sad, angry, fearful, or even bitter because they can’t seem to get things back to normal I want to say that is ok. There are even some who feel depressed because they can’t do what they once did, and they may even feel like they can no longer minister to others. I want to encourage you to not believe that lie! Your church will not look the same as it did even a handful of years ago, you may not be able to do what you once did, but you can still do faithful ministry! Stop focusing on what you can’t do and start looking at what you can do! Take a personal inventory and even a church inventory to ask yourselves, “How can we minister to people today?” Take time in prayer to ask God, “At this point in my personal life and our church’s life how can we faithfully love God and our neighbors?” Your community doesn’t need you to be the church you were in 1992, they need people who are willing to listen, people who care, and people who want to make a difference in the world around them.
